I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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