No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
