But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
