I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
