I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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