I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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