I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
being pregnant is like rehab
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
