How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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