Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
bring money and cleavage
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
