u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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