apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
