I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
