Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
