oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
