Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
