I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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