If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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