So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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