dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
