im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
