I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
All I want is dick and wine.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
