wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
