Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
