You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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