didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
