I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
