Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
