i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize