My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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