...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
