remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
