I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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