do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
