no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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