It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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