the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Pants are for mortals
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
