Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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