He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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