I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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