Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
