Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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