I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
