There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
