I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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