Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
