I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
