is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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