we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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