I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
