Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
