i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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